wasting away

recent events in the life of drake studebake, shuttlecock salesman, the color red, have included a snorkel into the world of employed humanity and a happy resurfacing onto the arid land of the unemployed. brethren, i have returned unscathed. i have witnessed the plight of man due to institutionalized industrial insanity. a sad state of affairs, i do declare. what is employment really? a survival tool? or simply a lack of ingenuity? i dare say, both. but to continue on such a subject would only dampen our outlook. better to dwell on the fulfillment of unemployed life.
to start chronologically and, as a man of pleasure and leisure, to start at the apex of lackadaisical freedom:
when employed, a man (or woman, although in my experience women do not tend to enjoy unemployment as much as men, the proof, of course, being in the pudding) has every right, not only to awake at any time, but, more importantly, to rise at any given time. this is the most fundamental freedom in the life of the unemployed. my recommendation, however, is to rise shortly before lunch, steam and shower, and then sit to your meal fresh. a thoroughly wonderful start to the day.
at this stage half the day is over and one need only waste several more hours before the employed race returns to entertain.

ah, it is terribly important as an unemployee to be witnessed reading a volume of immense intellectual sophistication. this allows the rest of the world to assume that you are a) spending your time wisely, and b) too intelligent to stoop down to discuss employed people's lives. for honestly, what is more dreadful to an unemployee than talk of the daily grind? do we give a toss about an insubordinate's inefficiency? or a boss's demands? please. and if your photocopier has broken, no need to share. i just don't care.
when it comes down to it, employment is simply the most uninteresting thing a human ever does. if only the russians had realized it and put their revolutionary zeal to a better cause. unemployed people of the world unite! now that would really bring a change.

god, i'm bored to tears here. i'm going to lie down.