the mini-burqa

keep the boys at home. shade the eyes of the innocent. i'm back with a new product that will, simply put, revolutionize the world. robespierre, trotsky, khamenei your ideas to turn society on its head were mere playground talk compared to this plan. stand back, breath deeply, rub your eyes, dear reader, prepare yourself for this summer's craze: the mini-burqa.

the mini-burqa conforms to the offensively bullshit "islamic" law of completely covering a woman's head, shoulders, chest and torso. the small grate for the eyes to barely see through remains. the only difference, really, is that instead of flowing repressively past the victim's (excuse me, adorner's) ankles, the mini-burqa stops just above the upper thigh. a dangerously suggestive spot, rarely even seen on the catwalks of paris.

imagine the dusty streets of poppystan hosting thousands of long dark anonymous legs. roar, says the mullah. rrrr, says the ex-pat. ahhh, says rkelly.

mini-burqa production begins this afternoon. March 8th, 2005. My gift to the women of the world on their day.

(the only potential downside is the shape of afghan women's legs. i have never seen a pair before. perhaps i should have a crate of thighmasters imported...)